Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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