Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
