you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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