So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Randomize
