So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
