he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
