gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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