Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
