nut hugger
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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