I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You smell like stripper and shame
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
