mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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