Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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