Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
