Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
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you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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