What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
