I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
What drink are we having for lunch?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
