When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
