i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
