phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
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it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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