fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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