Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
