I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I supernannyed him into submission
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize