Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Sorry about my life...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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