I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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