oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
