and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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