if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
