I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
