Christians are straight up FREAKS
are you still at the devil's house?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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