gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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