The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
