I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
