I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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