Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
40s are totally the cure
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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