Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
