We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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