I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
