Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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