Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
