I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
