I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
At least make sure they are 18
Why
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize