I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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