All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
