you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize