turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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