im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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