Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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