Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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