Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
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I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
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What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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