So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
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he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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