ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
