I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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