What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
