8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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