Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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