her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
