I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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