There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
