how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize